Tag: happiness

It’s the every day things

julieannetaylor

Today I spent some time with my grown children. It was not a special occasion. Not a family dinner. Just a normal, summer day that turned into time together. My son, Zach has lived in Columbus for the last eight years – so we have not spent a lot of time together. Recently he and his wife and my grandson moved to the area! This move has been something I have been praying for – a lot. When they first arrived we had family dinners and lots of family celebrations (graduation, birthdays, showers) spent together. I love all of that time. But today was different. I had spent the morning in my daughter’s future classroom helping her set up for her first year of teaching. We have spent a lot of hours in her Kindergarten room together. My son called and said he and Parker (my grandson) were out and about running errands. The four of us made plans to meet for lunch. While sitting in Chipotle, it just hit me. THESE are the moments that I truly cherish. Sharing a meal and talking with my grown children is the absolute best. We then headed to Costco just to pick up a few groceries…again, nothing earth-shattering. Just a normal day doing normal things together. It may sound peculiar that this run-of-the-mill day brought me so much joy, but I got home feeling so content and happy. I love sharing these moments with my grown children. Watching them live their amazing lives fills me with so much pride. I’m so grateful to be called momma by them! I’m so grateful to have played a part in their world – and so grateful that I am still such a big part of their world! Happiness and contentment does not have to be found in the “big” momentous moments…happiness can be found in the every day things!

Here’s my “it’s been a long time since I blogged” disclaimer. Yes – it’s been too long – and I have SO much to share! Stick around for the updates – good, bad, and ugly! Thanks for reading!

Bravo!

julieannetaylor

When Chris and I were dating, he took me to my first symphony. From that moment, I fell in love with all of it. I love Cincinnati Music Hall – such a beautiful setting, I love learning about the different composers and finding my favorite, and I love getting dressed up and enjoying this special date night. In the past eight years, we have attended countless CSO performances and have become subscribing members. This means we get to see thirteen shows a year. It has become my favorite date night activity, and we have shared so many memories.

Last night we went to OTR and enjoyed dinner before the show. (The Eagle has the BEST fried chicken – ever -sorry Grandma). The show last night was Rachmaninoff’s Concerto 3. I have learned over the past few years the style that I love the most, and I am drawn to Russian composers. Rachmaninoff is my absolute favorite – but I had never heard this particular concerto. Wow. It was the most beautiful piece of music I have ever heard. It literally brought me to tears. I was entranced and got lost in the music.

But the best part of the night, by far, had more to do with the man sitting next to us way up in the Gallery level of Music Hall. As we took our seats, I couldn’t help but notice the cutest little old man right next to us, holding a binder of music! He was looking through the pages and pages of the pieces that we would be hearing in the show. He spoke to Chris about his excitement over hearing the Aaron Copland piece that he had never heard live before. As we waited for the conductor to come on stage, the man was on the edge of his seat – literally sitting on the edge leaning over watching with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning. I could not stop watching him throughout the first piece of music. His smile was ear to ear and grew even bigger with each rising note. At the end of the first piece, “subito con forza” by Unsuk Chin, the man jumped to his feet and clapped with endless energy. He repeatedly yelled “Bravo” and cheered hard for all of the musicians. As the program continued, his excitement and praise for the musicians and conductor grew by leaps and bounds. I wasn’t sure he would even be able to remain in his seat as he listened to Copland’s Symphony No. 3. And he barely did. As the composition came to a thunderous conclusion, my new friend was once again instantly on his feet yelling “Bravo” and even “Amen.” Not just a couple times. I mean for the twenty minute standing ovation. He clapped. He smiled. He yelled. He was joyful. Pure joy. As much as I loved listening to the CSO’s flawless performance of my favorite composer, it didn’t compare to the joy I got from watching this man find so much joy and excitement from this evening. There is a lesson in here for all of us. Find the joy. Truly take in the good there is in this world. Don’t be afraid to share your joy. Get excited! I wish this man knew how much joy I got from watching his joy! I wish I could tell him thank you for the unexpected lessons I walked away with. I hope to carry the memory of this beautiful evening with me for a long time as a reminder to find the joy in all things. And to share that joy.

You might have to look for it

julieannetaylor

Just this morning, I wrote a blog post about enjoying joy. About appreciating the joy that is to be found around us in our lives. A few hours later I was sitting on the floor of my laundry room overwhelmed to the point of tears. Not tears of joy. These were tears of a momma who was teetering on the edge of hopelessness. Mommin’ ain’t easy. Somedays it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

So there I sat in the floor of my laundry room, surrounded by mountains of clothes (six people create a lot of dirty laundry) feeling like a big fat fraud. Where was my joy now? Didn’t I just post about how joyful life is and how all you have to do is look and find the joy? Now, to be totally transparent, I wasn’t crying about how much laundry I had to do. No, this was not about that. I will not share the details of what caused my meltdown – not because I am trying to hide my “ugly” – but out of respect for the privacy of others involved in the situation. And the situation is not really the point anyway.

The point is about joy. There are some moments where I am not naturally, organically overwhelmed with life’s joy. But that does not mean that it is not present. What it truly means is that I have lost my sight of it, while choosing to focus on the yucky stuff. My perspective shifted from being thankful for all of the good stuff, to wallowing in the muck that threatens to steal my joy. But here’s the thing….I am not at all saying that life should be rosy and rainbows every single day. I know that fact all too well. I think what I am trying to say (I’m discovering it as I type) is that even though life feels like a mess sometimes, and we as humans can feel way too caught up in the chaos, we don’t have to unpack and stay there. We can shift our perspective and choose to be happy in our circumstances. No, we don’t “fake it” and just act like everything is okay so that our friends and neighbors don’t judge us. No, we don’t bury our heads in the sand and not deal with the hard stuff because we want to dance around the house like a Disney princess. We face things, we learn to cope with things, we grow from things – all while we focus our eyes on the good stuff that we can hold on to.

I guess what all of my rambling here really means is that when you find yourself sitting on your laundry room floor crying and feeling like you just might drown – its okay. You are not alone! Just don’t camp out there too long because you might miss out on the goodness that there is out there for you!

Enjoy the Joy

julieannetaylor

Yesterday morning I began planning my future daughter-in-law’s bridal shower. (I tried out the new stories feature on here and shared that tidbit). My son, Zach and Katie will be married in September of this year. Zach is my oldest and my only son. He has always been a momma’s boy…but now he’s about to outgrow that title and become a husband. A husband to an amazing woman. When he was little I began praying for the woman who would become his wife. I have prayed for this young lady for many, many years. God answered in a BIG way and brought Katie into our world.

As I went through my day yesterday, the plans for the shower were on my mind. Katie has a very keen sense of style, and I want to give her a beautiful shower that matches her style. So all day, I was thinking about ways to create this perfect party. More than once – okay at least a dozen times – I was overwhelmed with emotion and began crying. I would find a picture that inspired the flowers, and then I would cry. I would think about sharing this time with Katie and all of our family, and then I would cry. I envisioned all of the smiles and laughs and pictures of that day, and I would cry.

Initially I was confused about these emotions that were bubbling under the surface. Were they sadness from the feelings of “losing” my son? Were they happy tears at the thought of having this special family time to celebrate Katie as a new member of our family? Did these tears come from a place of worry and anxiety about planning the perfect party for my son’s bride? I thought deeply about these emotions (its just what I do), and sorted them out in my head and in my heart. I think that may some of those tears were from each of the things I had thought, but the overwhelming and overpowering emotion I was feeling was pure JOY.

Joy was what was bubbling up from my head and my heart. There is no other word for what I am feeling as we prepare for my son’s wedding. Joy for the joining not only of two people but of two families! Joy at the thought of my daddy being the one who will perform the ceremony for his grandson and bride. And here’s the thing, joy feels good.

I am sure that as the day approaches for the shower and the ceremony, there will be some times of stress and maybe even some not so joyful emotions. I know that worry and anxiety may set in, but none of that will steal the joy of this very special time for our family!

Why I Write

julieannetaylor

IMG_2115I set a goal for myself recently to do more things that make me happy. I am learning that self care is something that I’ve been desperately missing. I love doing things for others and taking care of everyone’s needs, but in the process of all of that, I tend to neglect what I really need. When I sat evaluated my self care goals, I was saddened that it was hard for me to articulate the things that would bring me happiness. In that process, I felt lost. I had lost sight of how to take care of myself. Eventually, I came up with a list of a few things that do bring me joy. The number one item on that last is writing. I’m not sure why I enjoy it so much. Part of it is the journey of taking a spark of an idea and turning into something more. Another part of it is just the release of thoughts and ideas and emotions that writing brings. I have journaled for years – and still do it often. But there’s something about putting a blog post out to the world. It’s not about the stats (although I do look at them), but rather its more about being comfortable enough in my own voice to share. There is a lot of vulnerability that comes with it. But also a lot of reward that comes with being a little uncomfortable. And when I do think about the numbers, it is nice to think about someone else in the universe is taking the time to hear my voice. 

Last week I wrote about my writing portfolio from my senior capstone. I came across a poem that I had not even remembered writing, but reading it really was the seed for this post. I guess if there is anything to take away from all of this it is this…find joy in what you do. Take care of your soul. Listen to the inner voice. Quite the noise, slow down and be at peace.

why i write

i write for me
to feel, to grieve
to let go and to remember

i write for validation
from my soul
and from my mind

i write to say the things
that i will never
have the strength to say aloud

i write to heal
to mend old wounds
and bandage fresh cuts

i write to make my world
meaningful, real, and 
worth living in