Tag: family

Happy Sunday

julieannetaylor

The house is quiet – except for my parents stirring in the basement as they get ready for church. The sunlight is streaming through the front window almost hiding the chill in the morning air. My coffee sits close by in my favorite mug, and Malone is curled up near me on the rug.

I am making a list for my day while a Hallmark Christmas movie plays in the background. I don’t plan on leaving the house for anything today. It will just be Malone and me home together all day…and I’m planning on getting a lot of things crossed off my list. The first thing on the list is to carry up all the Christmas boxes and begin to transform the house for the most wonderful time of the year. I normally hold out until after Thanksgiving, but the season is shorter this year, and we have lots of gatherings on the calendar, so today is the day! I am excited about having the whole house to myself to take my time and decorate while a marathon of cheesy Christmas movies play (with a brief intermission to watch the Bengals game – unless it becomes too painful to watch – and then it’s back to Hallmark).

The other big item on my list is a labor of love! Caroline and I will be prepping a whole bunch of freezer meals for Zach and Katie! We want to make life easier for them as they adjust from being a family of three to a family of four! We should have a new baby in the family this week and we want Campbell’s parents to be able to rest and focus all of their attention on her and big brother. So we will be trying to make their lives a little easier by stocking their freezer full of meals! The bonus is that I get to spend the afternoon with my mini-me best friend!

As I type, I realize there is nothing really earth shattering about this post, or even my day…but maybe there is a little more than just a to do list. I don’t feel like my day is filled with tasks that I have to do, but rather things that I get to do- and that is a blessing to be sure. I am blessed to have a home to decorate for my family to enjoy. I am blessed that my home is the place where my entire family will gather for Thanksgiving and Christmas (and all the other gatherings throughout the year). I am excited to add my thrifting treasures to my Christmas collection this year, as each one conjures memories of the fun days spent with Katie and Carty searching for well loved treasures. I am beyond blessed to be able to prepare meals for my son and daughter in law as they bring my first granddaughter into the world! I am so excited for Parker to be a big brother and for Zach and Katie to complete their perfect little family! The mess and the meal making will be well worth the knowledge that we are taking one small thing off of their plates while they adjust to having a newborn along side a very active three year old.

So I guess that this post is about more than an update on my Sunday to do list. It’s more about perspective. I could look at my list and feel dread about the seventy eleven trips I will make up and down the stairs lugging boxes. Or be overwhelmed at the thought of hours of cooking and loads of dishes. But that’s not how I’m feeling this morning. I am filled with joy and gratitude that I get to spend the entire day at home, in my slippers doing things that will be a blessing to others…and to me. I am thankful for all of the items on my list and will find joy in each minute of the day!

Isn’t she lovely…

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Yesterday we celebrated my mom’s 80th birthday! It was a great afternoon filled with laughter and love, and lots of food! Friends from the past and present came to honor her. Family came from far away to share stories and cherished memories of the past. So many people who love my mom came with their well wishes. I was not surprised one bit by the turnout because, well, she’s a pretty amazing woman, who has touched many lives in her eighty years on earth!

Mom, Peggy, Peg, Peggy Jo, Grandma, Ma, friend, aunt, sister, wife…whatever you call her, I call her amazing. Mom has the biggest heart of anyone I know. She is the most empathic, caring, loving woman on earth. One of her best qualities is that she is a great listener. When you talk to her, she really listens and makes you feel heard. She loves her family well and takes great care of daddy!

But, if you have ever met her or spent anytime around you, you know that one of her most cherished qualities is her quick-witted sense of humor. She has always had the ability to make everyone around her laugh with her zippy one-liners. And that wit is still going strong at eighty years old!

To know my mom is to love her. She truly has a gift of making people feel comfortable and loved. From her love of Goodwill shopping, to her amazing cooking skills, to her passion for shoes (even heels that she should NOT be wearing anymore, there is just so much to love about my mom. Celebrating her today and every day with a thankful heart that I get to call her mine!

Life Lately

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I am home sick from work today. I HATE missing work, but I just finally had to admit that I needed to be home in bed so that my body could finally fight off this “ick” I’ve been dealing with for over a week. Besides getting the rest I need, the other positive is that I have time to sit and reflect on the past few months…and write! This year has been so full of so many milestones and memories. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude as I sit and think about all that has happened in the past few months.

Our family has created big memories, and little ones that are just as meaningful over the last several months. The biggest of these was Caroline and Zach’s wedding in August. The days of summer were filled with checklists, planning dates and maybe a few mini breakdowns. Caroline (Carty) and I spent so many hours talking about every little detail. I loved those moments – even when we thought there was no way we would get it all accomplished. Saturday, August 9th was the day! The skies were blue, the sun was hot, and all of our plans came together just as we had prepared for. I did my very best to “be present” in each moment and not get caught up in all the busyness. I am proud to say that I really feel like I was able to soak in all of the joy that came with watching my baby girl walk down the aisle. Our family all gathered and celebrated the bride and groom with so many smiles and LOTS of dancing. It was truly the most fun reception ever!

My baby girl was radiant, the whole venue with filled with so much love, and the memories of that special day will live with me forever.

In October, we celebrated again – but this time it was Halloween – with Parker. I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween or Trick -or- Treating, but watching my grandson Parker excited beyond words for the evening really did change my perspective! Parker has been on a Spiderman kick for several months, so it was a foregone conclusion that he would be rocking the red costume and mask for the big night. I made a big pot of chili (the weather was perfect for the time of year – a little chill and clear skies) and the kids brought little man to our neighborhood to collect all the candy! Parker was so excited to be all dressed up as his favorite super hero and ran from house to house. After he couldn’t go any longer, we gathered at the table and shared a meal together. It was one of those nights that I had always imagined we would have once my kids were grown and grandbabies came along – except the reality was even better than I knew to dream.

So many other big and small moments fill my heart with thankfulness…my niece Courtney got married in a beautiful ceremony, Zach and I celebrated our birthdays in our annual Bengals game day, Chris and I spent an amazing weekend in OTR for my birthday, and we showered Katie and Zach in anticipation of baby girl who will be here very soon! Not to mention simple family dinners, thrifting trips, and family movies.

I honestly could go on and on about all of the amazing moments in life lately. I feel so thankful for this beautiful chaos that is my world. And while no life is ever perfect – and yes, this is just a highlight reel – these little (and big) moments are what I choose to focus on. Life is hard, and gets to be so overwhelming at times. Worry and anxiety often plague me and I tend to focus on all of the scary things…but here’s the thing…there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for…so for now, I will focus on those things and cherish every moment – big or small.

These Small Hours

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Our family has experienced so many milestones in the past 6 months! From graduations to new homes to new jobs and marriages. There have been so many blessings! One big blessing that I have been praying for over the last several years is Zach, Katie and Parker moving closer to home! This past May they bought their first house and moved their little family from Columbus to Hamilton. Now, instead of being two hours away, they are less than 15 minutes. This has meant lots of pool time with Parker and his parents, and it also brought about Family Dinners! It has always been my dream to have family dinners with all ten of us every Sunday! I love planning and preparing the meal and having everyone come together before we all start the busy week ahead.

Tonight we all gathered at our house for a Mississippi pot roast, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, a fresh baguette, and warm apple crisp with ice cream! As we sat out on the patio enjoying this perfect evening, my heart was so full. I surprised everyone at the table with some question cards that everyone had to answer. Just to spur conversation. To put the phones down and talk. The question was “Which characteristic from someone in your family would you like to have?” Initially, no one jumped in to answer…and I thought my idea might be a flop. But, eventually each person went around the table and named a characteristic from someone else around the table that they wished they had in themselves. There was such beauty in everyone’s responses. Things that we shared – by being “forced” – were things that we most likely never would have taken the time to say to one another in a normal interaction. But hearing the kind words from each other was so touching. Watching my family’s faces light up when someone else pointed out one of their amazing qualities made me realize how important this silly little card was. And how important these weekly family dinners are to me. And to my family.

Last night Chris and I saw Rob Thomas in concert and he sang “Little Wonders,” which of course made me cry. And sitting here tonight after such a beautiful evening with my whole crew I hear the line from that song:

Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twist and turns of fate. Time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain.”

These small hours tonight meant the absolute world to me. These people who sat around my table are my little wonders.

My Sweet Caroline

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I am sitting here feeling so many emotions as I try to put into words how much my Caroline means to me. Not only is it wedding week for my baby girl, but she’s also getting ready to start her first year of teaching. Watching this young lady grow into the woman she has become has made me immensely proud.

Caroline came into this world on her own terms. I was scheduled to have her on January 26th. But she decided she wasn’t waiting. She made her entrance into this world in the middle of an ice storm a week early. And ever since, she has taken on this world on her own terms. In her own way. She has always been undeniably herself….never worrying about what other people thought. I adore this quality in her. Along with so many more.

Growing up with a big brother …in his shadow, can be hard. But not for Caroline. She was tough as nails and could hold her own. I remember many nights after peewee practice, Caroline would run sprints with the team…and usually ended up beating many of them. On the soccer field, she was almost always the smallest…and ALWAYS the toughest. Those other teams didn’t know what hit them – especially when she got mad. She played with he whole heart every minute of every game.

And that’s how she does everything. With her whole heart. She’s not an outwardly emotional person at all. But she truly does have the biggest heart. And if you are loved by her, she loves fiercely. Anything she puts her mind (and heart) to, she does it with passion and drive.

So as we are on the verge of her wedding, and her first year of teaching, I smile knowing that she will love her future husband loyally, and will work tirelessly with her little learners. To say I am proud of her does not begin to do justice to how I feel. I am so excited to celebrate her this weekend as two lives join in the sacred union of marriage. I have loved their love story, and I can’t imagine a better match. I have cried for several days as we lead up to the big day. Happy tears. Proud tears. Sad tears that she’s all grown up and not still running around the house.

And as she embarks on her teaching career, I know in my heart that she is exactly where she is supposed to be. Watching her navigate her degree and student teaching has been so rewarding. She has grown so much as an educator already and I know that she will make an impact on so many students and families.

My sweet Caroline, as you move through these two big life milestones, please know that you have brought me so much joy! It has been my greatest honor and blessing to be your momma. Go do great things baby girl!

It’s the every day things

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Today I spent some time with my grown children. It was not a special occasion. Not a family dinner. Just a normal, summer day that turned into time together. My son, Zach has lived in Columbus for the last eight years – so we have not spent a lot of time together. Recently he and his wife and my grandson moved to the area! This move has been something I have been praying for – a lot. When they first arrived we had family dinners and lots of family celebrations (graduation, birthdays, showers) spent together. I love all of that time. But today was different. I had spent the morning in my daughter’s future classroom helping her set up for her first year of teaching. We have spent a lot of hours in her Kindergarten room together. My son called and said he and Parker (my grandson) were out and about running errands. The four of us made plans to meet for lunch. While sitting in Chipotle, it just hit me. THESE are the moments that I truly cherish. Sharing a meal and talking with my grown children is the absolute best. We then headed to Costco just to pick up a few groceries…again, nothing earth-shattering. Just a normal day doing normal things together. It may sound peculiar that this run-of-the-mill day brought me so much joy, but I got home feeling so content and happy. I love sharing these moments with my grown children. Watching them live their amazing lives fills me with so much pride. I’m so grateful to be called momma by them! I’m so grateful to have played a part in their world – and so grateful that I am still such a big part of their world! Happiness and contentment does not have to be found in the “big” momentous moments…happiness can be found in the every day things!

Here’s my “it’s been a long time since I blogged” disclaimer. Yes – it’s been too long – and I have SO much to share! Stick around for the updates – good, bad, and ugly! Thanks for reading!

Sweet Caroline

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My girl has had a BIG month. She finished her student teaching! Landed a long-term sub for the second part of the school year. Graduated from Miami University – love and honor – with her Bachelor’s Degree in Education. And yesterday she got engaged! Watching her sail gracefully through all of these milestones has been incredible. My heart is full of so much pride and happiness for her. I do my best to tell her often how proud I am, but I don’t think that she truly grasps the depths of my love and pride.

Caroline – Carty to most people who know her – has always been filled with grit and spunk. She is feisty and tenacious but also has a huge heart for her friends and family. She has always faced life with great determination. When she was in middle school, she began having a lot of pain in her hips. To compensate for that pain, her feet turned in and she ran and walked in the most unnatural way. But she kept going. After countless specialists and six months of constant pain, we finally were told that she had a torn labrum in her hip that would require surgery. She faced it head on. The recovery included a lot of painful physical therapy and during this time she had to learn to sit on the sidelines. Not playing sports like she always had was a challenge for her. But she endured. She set the goal for herself to be back for soccer her freshman year of high school. I loved her initiative, but I was worried she would end up disappointed…especially when she told me that her goal was to make the Varsity squad, as a freshman, coming off this major surgery. I tried to “guide” her expectations, without squelching them. That young lady worked her tail off, while still recovering, and she did it!

This is just one example of her strength and perseverance. And there are so many more. So am I surprised that she was so amazing in college? Not one bit. She worked a full time job while taking a full load each semester. She went into a classroom of 21 kindergartners and shined! And now she’s a college graduate!

Watching her bloom and grow is one of the greatest joys of my life. We had a surprise party to celebrate her engagement to Zach last night. Surrounded by friends (a lot of friends) and family, I just sat back and watched her glow! I am beyond excited for this next chapter in her life. Finding a full time teaching job, planning a wedding, and becoming a wife! Through all of these exciting milestones, I hope that she realizes how proud we all are of her!

Congratulations, Sweet Caroline!

Facing the quiet

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The house is so quiet today. School is out until January 7th. All the presents have been bought and wrapped. The house is clean (ish). Laundry done. Dishes done. I am having a hard time just being still today. I told myself last night that today was going to be a rest day because the last two weeks have been nonstop and I just feel exhausted. And when I woke up this morning I was excited about the prospect of having nothing that had to get done, and nowhere to be. But here I sit, it’s not even noon yet, and I am struggling with the nothingness. I am having a hard time with the rest. That shouldn’t be a bad thing…that I need to be busy…but as I sit and ponder the real reason, I think it is a bit troublesome.

The lack of noise and busyness today is forcing me to be alone with my thoughts and with my emotions. I have a lot of time to reflect on the year that has gone, and anticipate the one that lies ahead. When life is busy and chaos is all around, I am not forced to be alone with my thoughts. It just becomes easier to avoid the voice inside and to deal with all of the stuff that requires attention.

This past year has been filled with so many blessings and I find it hard to believe all of the moments and memories I got to experience. As I look through all of my pictures and journal posts I am overwhelmed with the life I led in 2024. There were so many firsts in my life this year. My first time in Paris. Our first vacation with ALL of us. My first time kayaking…in the Pacific Northwest. Parker’s first sleepover with Mimi and Pap. My first girls’ trip with my friends. And so many other little moments that were true blessings. SO many highlights. I have so many things to be thankful for in this life. But the year was not all highlights. There were some really hard times. Some challenges that I never dreamed we would face. But still in it all, I have so much to be thankful for. Trying to remember all of it today as I process all of the memories of the year.

This time of year is so hard for me. For some reason it always has been. This is a very unpopular opinion, but Christmas is just not “the most wonderful time of the year” for me (and many others). Today I am trying not to let myself slip into the sadness that slowly tries to envelope me. The quiet, stillness of the day is making that a challenge. Facing the sadness – when I’m supposed to be happy – is not really what I want to do today, but I know that it really is an exercise in wellness…to acknowledge the feelings and to process them. So…what do I do in the quiet moments. Find joy. Find the things that bring me joy and remind me of what fuels me. One of those things is writing. Writing to process. Writing to heal. Writing to feel joy.

When I opened up my blog site to do that very thing, I was hit with the fact that my last blog post was over 10 months ago! I am sad and embarrassed by that fact. Writing and sharing is a big part of who I am – and I have lost that for nearly a year. I think back to all of the things that I could have shared over the past year, and yet I didn’t. I guess I need to figure out the why in that today. Looking back through all of my blog posts, it seems that I have several out there that start with “It’s been a long time since my last post…” or something to that effect. I’m trying to give myself grace and not be too hard on myself. Trying. I think that sometimes I am afraid to write about the reality of my world. Sometimes, even though I know it would be therapeutic, I don’t share because it’s hard. It’s not pretty. It’s scary to think of being judged. But I have always aimed for this blog to be authentically me. I want to be real and write about real things – for myself. So here we go. I am going to resolve to share ALL of the things over the next year. And maybe even look back on 2024 and share the good and the bad. And in the meantime, I am going to practice being still.

Thanks for letting me ramble and reclaim some of the joy that writing brings me. Much love.

Annie’s Song

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Do you ever hear a song that stops you in your tracks and in an instant floods you with memories and an ocean of memories?

I was driving home from school one day this week when I was completely overcome by a song. Being with twenty-six ten year olds all day long is pretty noisy and chaotic, so most days I prefer to travel home in glorious silence. But this day, I decided to play my “Momma Chill” playlist to try and center myself and reflect on the day. As I crept up to the traffic light, the familiar guitar chords began.

It was Annie’s song by John Denver. One of my all time favorite songs ever. It is one of the first songs I ever really remember my brother singing and playing on his guitar. As I listened, the tears came in a torrent down my cheeks. I hadn’t heard this song in such a very long time. I had honestly forgotten it was even a part of this playlist.

The tears turned into violent sobs as I proceeded through the intersection. I even considered pulling over to calm down. I missed my brother. I kept thinking how desperately I wanted to hear him sing, just one more time. I wanted to remember the last time that I had heard him sing this song, and I was angry at myself that I couldn’t find that memory. When was the last time he sang it? I’m certain that when I heard it, I had no idea that it would be the last time. None of us knew or understood that we would be facing a lot of those “last times” when he found out he was sick. The yearning in my chest to go back and appreciate his music was smothering.

But here’s the thing, I can’t go back. None of us can, and none of us know when we share moments together that they could be the last time.

I am still wading through the grief of my brother’s death. Somedays I can smile about the memories and other days I can’t stop the tears. Some days I can sit in my memories of times with him, and other days a mere picture of him brings me to my knees. That’s grief, I guess.

I have thought a lot about this idea of “the last time…” watching my brother battle cancer and eventually succumb to it. I don’t understand for a minute why it was him that had to die so young. I have asked God a hundred times why our family has had to endure such a significant loss. I may never know why. But here is what I do know…I may never know when a moment with a loved one may be the last time. I believe that the best way I can honor my brother is to savor every chance I get to spend with family and friends. To be so present, and to treat every moment like it could be the last time.

Thank you for my love of music, and for that lesson, Todd.

Family is Everything

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Jodie, Janette, mom, and I had been planning for weeks for the big party for Papa. We had shared multiple messages about the decorations, the guest list, and of course, the food. We were all super excited that the baby, Janette, was able to fly down to be with us to celebrate. The anticipation for the big event was building.

On the Friday before the party we had planned a shopping trip to Costco to buy all of the food we needed for the party. Carty joined us for our girls’ day, and the five of us set out early to run all of the errands together. I cannot remember the last time we were all able to spend an entire day together like that. We laughed, cried, bickered, and teased ourselves through the morning as we loaded up with way more food than we really needed. The plan was to shop early and then spend the afternoon prepping food. Jodie had found our grandmother’s recipe for Waikiki Meatballs and the plan was to attempt to make them just like Edith used to. We followed her hand written recipe to the letter. As we worked through each step, we shared stories of our sweet Grandma, and teased each other that “that’s not how Edith would have done it.”

As we sat at the table rolling dozens and dozens of meatballs, we tried to remember the last time Grandma had made them for us. We decided it had been over seventeen years! Every Christmas Eve we would gather at Grandma’s house. She would have her house decorated beautifully. The table would be set with flowers and candles. And every year, in addition to a wide variety of finger foods, Grandma would always serve up a big batch of her Waikiki Meatballs. I can remember it like it was yesterday. She would serve us on her small, delicate, crystal plates. Matching crystal cups surrounded a large punch bowl. I remember thinking how “fancy” it all was.

The smell of them flooded the room, and my senses as my sister Jodie cooked. It is amazing to me how the brain works. As they cooked up, I was taken back to all of those Christmas Eve celebrations in an instant. All of us remarked how they smelled just like when Grandma made them. But the anticipation for whether they would taste the same continued to grow. Finally we couldn’t wait a minute longer. As soon as the taste filled my mouth, tears began to spill from my eyes. They tasted exactly like my Grandma had made them. It filled me with so much nostalgia. I felt joy as I remembered what an amazing woman my Grandmother was. I felt so sad that she was no longer around to share life with. I felt excitement that we had the recipe and could continue making it for our families.

As we carried on our work of preparing for the party, we shared so many memories. Memories of our Grandmother. Stories about our childhood and trips we had taken together. And it all started with that recipe. We were enjoying our time together so much that we turned it into a slumber party. We perused through hundreds of pictures. We shared storied. We snacked (occasionally sneaking a meatball or two when Jodie wasn’t looking). We decorated. We stayed up way into the way laughing and talking.

This time with my mom and sisters is priceless and I will never forget this weekend. The party was amazing and it was so good to see all of the people who came out to love on my daddy. But if I’m being completely honest, the unexpected highlight of the weekend was the time spend and memories created with my sisters and mom. I will cherish those forever. Our family has been through a really rough time over the last year. Even though we are so very different and at times those differences cause us to bicker and fuss, we are still family. And family is everything. I’m so thankful that my daddy is still around to celebrate his eightieth birthday. I’m thankful that his birthday created a weekend for my sisters and mom to be together. And I’m even more thankful for Grandma’s Waikiki Meatballs, and that old handwritten recipe.