It has been a long time since I have taken the time to write. It’s so strange to me that I rarely do it anymore, yet it’s one of the things in life that truly brings me joy. I have had so many things to write about and share with the world. I have even sat down at the computer and attempted to write. But something has been holding me back. Even as I sit here in the cool of the evening, listening to my favorite music, I am fighting the urge to just close the laptop and keep it all inside.
I have been soul-searching, trying to uncover my aversion to writing lately. There is a lot going on in my world right now…some really heavy stuff…that I am just not able to share. Part of me feels like if I just write about other things that I am not being authentic and I do not ever want to be that. So I will continue to process all of the hard stuff until I am at a healthy place where I can share. But for now, I am going to share what I can, as authentically as I can…because this just feels good.
But I alone cannot take credit for this breakthrough. I am reading a book by Jimmy Casas titled “Culturize” that stopped me in my tracks today. Casas was talking about his school experience with writing, and how he never believe he was or could be a good writer. He offered several pieces of advice where writing is concerned, and these three hit me right in my heart.
- “It only takes one person to relate to your story. Honor your impact.”
- “Embrace your vulnerability. Give of yourself and don’t be afraid to share your story.”
- Write for you. Reflection is powerful and necessary for individual growth.”
The last few times I blogged, months ago, I allowed myself to fall down the rabbit hole of statistics. I checked them over and over and found that my words had not reached a very big audience at all. Very few people had read what I felt I had poured my heart and soul into. I got lost in the numbers. But that is not why I write. I write for me. I write to process and to reflect and to understand. But…what if one of those few people who took the time to read those words related to my story? I may never know if my words may be impactful to someone else. But I know for certain they won’t if I never write them.
So I am going to allow myself to be vulnerable. I’m going to embrace it and allow it to help me grow. I am going to remember why I started writing in the first place and I am going to continue to share my story…the good, the hard, the messy, and the joy.
I knew that this book that I am reading with our Building Leadership Team was going to be powerful as we strive to be school leaders and change the culture of our school. I knew it would help me in my journey to truly impact my students and my colleagues. But as I sat here tonight and dug into it, I truly didn’t expect it to reignite this fire in me to share my story. I’m so thankful it did!