Tag: thankfulness

Life Lately

julieannetaylor

I am home sick from work today. I HATE missing work, but I just finally had to admit that I needed to be home in bed so that my body could finally fight off this “ick” I’ve been dealing with for over a week. Besides getting the rest I need, the other positive is that I have time to sit and reflect on the past few months…and write! This year has been so full of so many milestones and memories. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude as I sit and think about all that has happened in the past few months.

Our family has created big memories, and little ones that are just as meaningful over the last several months. The biggest of these was Caroline and Zach’s wedding in August. The days of summer were filled with checklists, planning dates and maybe a few mini breakdowns. Caroline (Carty) and I spent so many hours talking about every little detail. I loved those moments – even when we thought there was no way we would get it all accomplished. Saturday, August 9th was the day! The skies were blue, the sun was hot, and all of our plans came together just as we had prepared for. I did my very best to “be present” in each moment and not get caught up in all the busyness. I am proud to say that I really feel like I was able to soak in all of the joy that came with watching my baby girl walk down the aisle. Our family all gathered and celebrated the bride and groom with so many smiles and LOTS of dancing. It was truly the most fun reception ever!

My baby girl was radiant, the whole venue with filled with so much love, and the memories of that special day will live with me forever.

In October, we celebrated again – but this time it was Halloween – with Parker. I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween or Trick -or- Treating, but watching my grandson Parker excited beyond words for the evening really did change my perspective! Parker has been on a Spiderman kick for several months, so it was a foregone conclusion that he would be rocking the red costume and mask for the big night. I made a big pot of chili (the weather was perfect for the time of year – a little chill and clear skies) and the kids brought little man to our neighborhood to collect all the candy! Parker was so excited to be all dressed up as his favorite super hero and ran from house to house. After he couldn’t go any longer, we gathered at the table and shared a meal together. It was one of those nights that I had always imagined we would have once my kids were grown and grandbabies came along – except the reality was even better than I knew to dream.

So many other big and small moments fill my heart with thankfulness…my niece Courtney got married in a beautiful ceremony, Zach and I celebrated our birthdays in our annual Bengals game day, Chris and I spent an amazing weekend in OTR for my birthday, and we showered Katie and Zach in anticipation of baby girl who will be here very soon! Not to mention simple family dinners, thrifting trips, and family movies.

I honestly could go on and on about all of the amazing moments in life lately. I feel so thankful for this beautiful chaos that is my world. And while no life is ever perfect – and yes, this is just a highlight reel – these little (and big) moments are what I choose to focus on. Life is hard, and gets to be so overwhelming at times. Worry and anxiety often plague me and I tend to focus on all of the scary things…but here’s the thing…there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for…so for now, I will focus on those things and cherish every moment – big or small.

Watching Them Grow

julieannetaylor

As I sit here in room 3318, I hear the soft hum of machines, a barely audible television playing National Lampoon’s Las Vegas Vacation, an air vent blowing air making this already too warm room stuffy, I am having a had time being still. Both of my parents softly snore as they sleep and there is nothing much for me to DO. I feel helpless in these tiny accommodations. I can’t help my mom get better – and looking at her lying in the hospital bed with wires coming from all of the folds in her oversized hospital gown – I feel so helpless. My dad sits in the “comfy” chair in the room, as close to my mom’s bed as he can be. He is napping, but wakes every few minutes just so he can worry some more.

How did the years go by so quickly to bring us to this point where I am now taking care of them? It seems only yesterday that they were the caretakers, making sure I ate well, fixing my boo boos, and reassuring me of their everlasting love. And now here I sit in that role, making sure they know they are eating well, helping to fix their boo boos, and loving them for hard.

I saw a quote today and it fit so well into the flurry of emotions I am feeling.

When you’re a kid, you don’t realize you’re also watching your parents grow up

As children we do not have the awareness to understand that our parents are still growing up – into adulthood and parenthood. We don’t really understand that they have their own worries and stressors beyond our own little worlds. Today I feel the message of that quote in a big way. Today I am seeing my parents in a whole new way.

I pray that they have many more years left on this Earth…because there is just not enough time for me to thank them and try to take care of them – even though it will only be a fraction of all that they have done for me. I hate that my mom has had to go through this experience, but for me, the blessing is a whole new level of love and appreciation for these two human beings who gave me life. And what a good life it has been.