Tag: growing up

My Sweet Caroline

julieannetaylor

I am sitting here feeling so many emotions as I try to put into words how much my Caroline means to me. Not only is it wedding week for my baby girl, but she’s also getting ready to start her first year of teaching. Watching this young lady grow into the woman she has become has made me immensely proud.

Caroline came into this world on her own terms. I was scheduled to have her on January 26th. But she decided she wasn’t waiting. She made her entrance into this world in the middle of an ice storm a week early. And ever since, she has taken on this world on her own terms. In her own way. She has always been undeniably herself….never worrying about what other people thought. I adore this quality in her. Along with so many more.

Growing up with a big brother …in his shadow, can be hard. But not for Caroline. She was tough as nails and could hold her own. I remember many nights after peewee practice, Caroline would run sprints with the team…and usually ended up beating many of them. On the soccer field, she was almost always the smallest…and ALWAYS the toughest. Those other teams didn’t know what hit them – especially when she got mad. She played with he whole heart every minute of every game.

And that’s how she does everything. With her whole heart. She’s not an outwardly emotional person at all. But she truly does have the biggest heart. And if you are loved by her, she loves fiercely. Anything she puts her mind (and heart) to, she does it with passion and drive.

So as we are on the verge of her wedding, and her first year of teaching, I smile knowing that she will love her future husband loyally, and will work tirelessly with her little learners. To say I am proud of her does not begin to do justice to how I feel. I am so excited to celebrate her this weekend as two lives join in the sacred union of marriage. I have loved their love story, and I can’t imagine a better match. I have cried for several days as we lead up to the big day. Happy tears. Proud tears. Sad tears that she’s all grown up and not still running around the house.

And as she embarks on her teaching career, I know in my heart that she is exactly where she is supposed to be. Watching her navigate her degree and student teaching has been so rewarding. She has grown so much as an educator already and I know that she will make an impact on so many students and families.

My sweet Caroline, as you move through these two big life milestones, please know that you have brought me so much joy! It has been my greatest honor and blessing to be your momma. Go do great things baby girl!

Sweet Caroline

julieannetaylor

My girl has had a BIG month. She finished her student teaching! Landed a long-term sub for the second part of the school year. Graduated from Miami University – love and honor – with her Bachelor’s Degree in Education. And yesterday she got engaged! Watching her sail gracefully through all of these milestones has been incredible. My heart is full of so much pride and happiness for her. I do my best to tell her often how proud I am, but I don’t think that she truly grasps the depths of my love and pride.

Caroline – Carty to most people who know her – has always been filled with grit and spunk. She is feisty and tenacious but also has a huge heart for her friends and family. She has always faced life with great determination. When she was in middle school, she began having a lot of pain in her hips. To compensate for that pain, her feet turned in and she ran and walked in the most unnatural way. But she kept going. After countless specialists and six months of constant pain, we finally were told that she had a torn labrum in her hip that would require surgery. She faced it head on. The recovery included a lot of painful physical therapy and during this time she had to learn to sit on the sidelines. Not playing sports like she always had was a challenge for her. But she endured. She set the goal for herself to be back for soccer her freshman year of high school. I loved her initiative, but I was worried she would end up disappointed…especially when she told me that her goal was to make the Varsity squad, as a freshman, coming off this major surgery. I tried to “guide” her expectations, without squelching them. That young lady worked her tail off, while still recovering, and she did it!

This is just one example of her strength and perseverance. And there are so many more. So am I surprised that she was so amazing in college? Not one bit. She worked a full time job while taking a full load each semester. She went into a classroom of 21 kindergartners and shined! And now she’s a college graduate!

Watching her bloom and grow is one of the greatest joys of my life. We had a surprise party to celebrate her engagement to Zach last night. Surrounded by friends (a lot of friends) and family, I just sat back and watched her glow! I am beyond excited for this next chapter in her life. Finding a full time teaching job, planning a wedding, and becoming a wife! Through all of these exciting milestones, I hope that she realizes how proud we all are of her!

Congratulations, Sweet Caroline!

The day has come

julieannetaylor

Sitting here in a quiet, empty house, finally taking a few minutes just to breathe. The start of the school year is normally crazy and hectic, but this year – year three of pandemic teaching – has been especially exhausting. On top of the long hours and late nights, I am in the last few weeks of my Master’s program, which means multiple projects and looming deadlines. I have not really been able to take time to process all the emotions that I am feeling about the upcoming weekend.

In just two days, my son will marry his one true love. My baby boy. My firstborn. The one who gave me the title of momma. I am beyond excited and proud of my son and all that he has worked for and achieved. I am thrilled that he has found his lovely bride and will stand before his family and friends on Saturday and vow to share his life with Katie.

I find myself flooded with so many memories as we prepare to celebrate this big day. I think back to the day that we brought Zach home from the hospital. I think about spending every minute of every day of his first months of life. I remember saying to my family that at that point in his life I remembered every day that he’d been in the world. I wanted it to be like that forever. When he began walking and talking he would say the cutest things that I swore I would never forget. When I was pouring his milk he would say “Too nough, mommy.” I have never forgotten that sweet little face sharing his own sweet words.

As he grew older, the days became too many to remember every minute. The busyness of childhood and adolescence felt never ending with the countless practices and homework and uniform washing. Looking back now though, it went by in a blink. I am so very thankful for all of the memories that my son has given me over the years. And while I can’t recall each and every day that I have been blessed to be his momma, I do have so many amazing memories of him growing up. I can so easily recall the summer days when he would play football out in the street with the neighborhood kids, race Big Green Machines up and down the cul-de-sac, and play flashlight tag in the backyard. I have amazing memories of cheering on my son from the stands as he played football with all of his heart. There were out of town baseball tournaments with families who became lifelong friends. And I can never forget all of the mischief that Zach and his best friend since birth, Tyler, found themselves in. Like the time they thought it would be fun to see what happened when they threw grapes (an entire bag) at the ceiling fan. Or the time they thought it would be funny to cut the neighbor’s swings?!? Although I cannot remember every day, I realize that I am blessed with so many memories of being his momma.In 48 hours, my son will start the next phase of his life with his wife! He will begin creating his own memories as they build their new life together. We will spend the weekend celebrating their love and I know that the memories that we create this weekend will be added to the long list of memories that I cherish. So for now, I am enjoying this quiet time of reflection, recalling all of the joy that Zach has brought into my life an eagerly anticipating the weekend because the day has come.

Carty – like party with a “C”

julieannetaylor

My baby girl recently turned twenty. She went on a girls’ trip with her closest friends and had the time of her life. Sadly, with everyone’s schedules, we didn’t have a big celebration, just a low key dinner out with her and Chris and myself. I loved the time with her, but I almost feel like I didn’t do enough to truly celebrate her twenty years here on earth. Carty is one of a kind for sure. Her full name is Caroline McCarty Smith. I was the last hold out – still calling her Caroline, until she gently told me I was the ONLY one who called her that and she really preferred Carty. When people would ask her how to spell it, she proudly said “It’s like party with a C,” and that sums her up perfectly.

Carty has grown into such a mature, responsible, fun young lady. I could not be more proud of who she is and how she lives each day. She is beautiful inside and out – and when I look at her now it’s hard to see the little tomboy who insisted on wearing her brother’s hand me down athletic shorts and t-shirts. In light of her recent jump from her teens to her twenties, I thought I would share a poem I wrote about her when she was little. I hope someday she will understand how much joy she brings to me and to this world.

Carty
She struts down the sidewalk
As if she was walking
The red carpet.

Even with grubby, skinned toes
And lollipopped, sticky fingers
She is prissy

Her stringy strands of dishwater blonde
Fall across her face,
Hiding her crystal blue eyes.

She is constant motion
Perfectly happy to play alone
Confident and absorbed in herself.

Oblivious to anyone’s world
But her own.
She is Carty

Home

julieannetaylor

I went back to college in my late 30’s to earn a teaching degree. I had two school-aged children at the time. To say that managing it all was a challenge is an understatement. One year into my three year journey, my 16 year marriage ended. This event did not make life easier. But I kept going… My senior capstone work was creative writing. Considering the season of life that I was in, my writing from that time was raw and full of emotion. After the program was over and I had graduated, I put that writing portfolio away. It was a reminder of the pain and hardship of that time in life.

Recently, I came across my senior capstone portfolio. As I sat in my basement office in our quiet house, I read. And read. And read. Tears flowed freely as the words flooded my mind and heart with the memories of that year. I was surprised by some of the pieces. I hadn’t even remembered penning the words. Some of the writings were almost too difficult to read, and I moved through those quickly. But others were full of sentiment and happy memories of life “before” all of the hard stuff came along.

These writings have been in a beat up red file folder for more than a decade, and I would like to finally share them. So, over the course of the next few weeks I will share one at a time. The first piece is called “Home.” This was written in November, 2008.

Home

Home is the smell of sausage frying in a ridiculously heavy, old cast iron skillet once belonging to Granny. The smell would sneak down the hallway to my bedroom in the early morning hours. It was our signal that it was almost time to get up. The sound of cabinet doors and drawers opening and not so gently closing always came with morning. Daddy was the responsible party – and we knew when we smelled the biscuits in the oven, it was time. Daddy would whistle while he cooked each morning – yet another not so subtle wake up call for us. And when we finally stumbled to the kitchen we were always greeted by an awful mess. Homemade biscuits always left a trail…a light covering of flour on every available surface.

Home is the quiet of late afternoon – the dull rhythmic thumping of the dryer in a distant room. Background noise – a lone television broadcasting afternoon headlines to an empty room, the occasional creak of the ironing board as my mother ironed in the living room. The perfect blend of these sounds in the late of day is a recipe for home.

Home is the small tree growing in the front yard. Not an impressive tree – at least in stature – but to my sister and me it was…a princess castle, a pirate ship, a mountain top, in the jungle, a hiding place, base, and adventure, a swing, monkey bars…and the dreaded sources of our daddy’s “switches” – used only in the worst of circumstances. When Daddy went to grab a switch from our beloved tree, it was only then that we wished it didn’t exist.

Home is dinner around the dining room table, saying prayer before eating, holding hands as a family and thanking God for the nourishment which he had provided. And not complaining about what was on the evening menu. “It’s not right to thank God for our food and then complain about what it is, ” Daddy would often remind. Familiar meals, comfort food, were served in a weekly rotation…foods such as meatloaf, and fried chicken, and once a week…breakfast for dinner…a concept my own children will not warm up to.

Home is the conflict and tension of teenage brothers, resentful of their “step” mother and angry over the death of their own. It is the open defiance and harsh words heard by my sister and me as we hid at the top of the stairs – terrified but curious. It is the sound of objects thrown, painful sobs, and endless slamming doors. Home is the feeling of being torn between family members. Admiration for older brothers, and the natural love for a mother and father.

Home is the gentle reminder from our father each time we left the house. We were not sent on our way with rules or threats but rather with four simple words from our soft-spoken patriarch…”Remember who you are.”